Everyone is talking about it! From childhood crafts to adult declarations, love is in the air. Or is it? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know a single person who doesn’t appreciate being recognized. And my sweet tooth certainly appreciates the new surge of treats so soon after the holidays.
While hearts and roses often represent the idea of love, no one thing can fully encapsulate the magnitude of this word. It is not just an emotion, it’s a choice. An action. A thing you do. We show our love in a variety of ways – from worrying if someone is cold to nursing them to health. Sometimes we can even show love in what we don’t say or do.
But it gets messy when someone isn’t feeling loved in the way(s) they need to be. Naturally, such an unmet need impacts a person and their relationships. I may be dating myself here a bit, but who remember’s Alanis Morrissete’s song Ironic?! “It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.” That’s what it feels like. And how frustrating for both people?! The one who worked so hard to gather and offer ten-thousand of something for someone else; and the one using their voice, advocating for themselves, and still needing a knife. That is where a rupture can happen. And guess what?! Ruptures are ok! It is how you nurture and repair the rupture that matters.
Here is my challenge to you: Be clear about what your needs and wants are, with yourself and with others. And when you notice yourself feeling unappreciated or unrecognized, take a moment to consider if your effort has been misdirected. Oh yeah, and Happy Valentine’s Day!
Michelle – Owner, Clinical Director and Therapist